PSYKHE’s CEO on the mother she wants to be

She recently secured £1.3 million in seed funding, and now this tech entrepreneur and expecting mother is juggling pregnancy with start-up life and the global pandemic. She opens up about parenting plans, mood swings and pushing through adversity.

It was on the Côte d’Azur last August, a week before her 35th birthday, that Anabel found out she was expecting. The fashion psychologist and CEO of PSYKHE – a start-up using personality-driven smart technology to enhance our shopping experience – was soaking up the French Riviera sunshine while anxiously anticipating a pregnancy test. She was stalling, imagining the “heavy disappointment” of a negative result. “That definitely would have cast a low mood on the last few days [of our trip],” she admits. But her panic wouldn’t last. “Something shifted: I was sitting on the beach staring at the water, listening to hip hop, and I reminded myself that I don’t do scared,” she recalls. Wasting no more time, she soon found herself in the bathroom at the glamorous Paloma beach club – that’s when moments of unease and dread turned into utter elation. Now Anabel, who currently runs a tight-knit team and oversees all aspects of PSYKHE, is preparing for her baby girl’s arrival in April.

“I always pictured pregnancy as this glorious time where you spend nine months relaxing and pampering yourself,” Anabel reflects. “It’s kind of funny that in reality I spend 12 to 14 hours a day on my laptop.” She tells me that self-care for her basically means having time to eat properly and take a shower that day. It’s unsurprising considering her pregnancy coincided with increasing lockdowns and a very intense build stage at PSYKHE.

Growing up in cosmopolitan Toronto, with its “strong urban undercurrent”, Anabel says she was always set for a nomadic life. Her constant travels mean her friendship circle is as worldly as her beliefs: “Ignorance and narrow definitions bother me, and my values are quite liberal and open-minded.” Anabel is determined to instil these views in her daughter: “I want my child to feel like a citizen of the world, be globally minded [and to] feel at home in many places and around many different types of people.”

These desires match her own approach to life: “I still never like being in one place; the term ‘settle down’ makes me uneasy, and I have no desire to slow down. I thrive in the hustle. I have found myself in situations where I was selling myself short (in my education, career, and relationships), but I quickly reacted to that by pivoting towards the next level,” she recalls. “I think you only settle when you accept staying in that lower level when you know you deserve better.”

Anabel currently lives with her husband, who works in finance, in North West London, who she married in an elaborate wedding in Seville back in May 2019. But her heart lies in New York – her favourite city – where she plans to eventually buy a home. She’d also like to spend more time in her native Toronto. “California has grown on me a lot in recent years, and Kauai – which is our favourite vacation spot,” she reveals.

Regardless of where she travels to next, Anabel will continue putting her heart and soul into PSYKHE – even as her role in the company takes an inevitable turn and becomes more commercial and business-driven. “When you’re a small team, you have the chance to touch every aspect of the business, approve everything. As we grow, I will have no choice [but] to relinquish some control and accept that I won’t have a hand in absolutely everything.” Despite admitting it will be a challenge, she’s managed to adapt to overwhelming times before, like growing PSYKHE’s reputation and capital in the middle of an economic crisis. A mere year and half old, PSYKHE is fast becoming a respected and pioneering platform with interest from a range of investors. It’s safe to say she’s bound to keep business blossoming – wherever she is in the world.

Anabel’s mindfulness allows for managing her hectic lifestyle, which has changed considerably. “You have to be very self-aware to undertake motherhood and start-up life simultaneously,” she says, which is especially true now that she’s at such a turning point in her business. Still, this CEO doesn’t doubt the active role she’ll play in her daughter’s life: “I think being ‘present’ as a mom is about much more than just being physically there around the clock. You can be physically present without ever being really mentally present, so it goes back to quality over quantity. By that definition, I will most certainly be a present mom.”

I ask if she’s planning on having a nanny or some form of help. “Not immediately as I really want to be there for it all and savour every moment, but I will have to look at getting some part-time help soon after, so that I can work. You can’t go on maternity leave if you’re a founder-CEO.”

But one thing’s for sure, Anabel is not one to let her newfound status define her. “Being a working mom is just being a mom; I don’t feel a need to categorise or distinguish between the two,” she asserts. “A start-up mom of a technology company is probably a different story, as it’s a new level of stressful. But I don’t believe it’s going to take away from my parenting. I want to give my child an interesting, varied life, and I want them to be proud of who I am. I think my career lends itself to that.”

And even with all the pressures of start-up life, Anabel assures me she’s the kind of mom who’ll be on the dance floor at all her daughter’s parties. “I think I’ll be a fun, energetic and playful mom – I can still be very childlike. I want to be empowering and empathetic, to ensure that my child feels good about being themselves and in their own skin, as opposed to living up to someone else’s pre-conceived standards.” As for the finer things in life (her mesmerising Viktor & Rolf wedding dress, replete with undulating ruffles, comes to mind): “I like to do everything on a grand scale, so I definitely want to make their childhood memorable and fantastical with creatively themed birthdays and trips to Lapland,” she enthuses.

Anabel, who’s worked since she was 15, assures me she never planned on changing that in order to become a mom. Although her pregnancy was planned, her decisions to get ahead in her career before motherhood wasn’t intentional. “Things did work out in a serendipitous way in that we got married right when I was wrapping up my freelance career and began working on PSYKHE, and I got pregnant around our major funding round. But I don’t believe there is one right way to do it. I absolutely believe that some people can be ambitious and still have a big family,” she insists. “You’ve got to have a lot of grit, energy and self-awareness, though, to not lock yourself into just one or the other.” And when I ask about how she’s prepared herself financially: “I think if you wait to feel financially prepared for motherhood in a city like London or New York, you’ll be waiting forever. One thing that’s lightened the load is buying things fairly early to spread the bigger purchases out.”

We soon switch to talking about Anabel’s fitness regime, which has seen a huge dive. She tells me she hasn’t been able to partake in a true cardio session since falling pregnant. Despite admiring other expectant mothers who keep up gentle workouts, she knows it’s not for her. This is due to her being an “extreme person”, who’s used to enjoying HIIT and long cardio sessions, and so preferring to stay on the safe side, especially as it’s her first pregnancy. Before, she was on a ketogenic diet. “Right now, I am happily in carb-land,” she jokes, adding that she’s given up her morning coffee and her running and spin sessions have been replaced with long walks. That said, she isn’t fearful about staying in shape after she’s had the baby. “l’ll just get back to the regime I enjoy,” she says confidently.

But even for a woman as resilient as her, not being able to rely on old stress outlets has been disorientating. Reflecting on the whole experience, she says, “My mood is a funny one. I am definitely hormonal and cry very easily, but I am also a lot calmer. Whenever I get overly distraught, I remind myself that I am no longer alone, and that I have a little person to be strong for – that mellows me.” Beforehand, she indulged her emotions “– not a healthy psychological habit”, she recalls. “Now I just recognise that the adrenaline affects the baby, and nothing is worth that.”

Anabel is good at putting things into perspective, often sharing uplifting and empowering words on her social media accounts. It makes me wonder who she’s turning to for advice right now. “I don’t personally know anyone else expecting and running a technology company, which is quite different to running a direct-to-consumer brand, so I’m on my own there.” She does, however, seek advice from “extremely helpful” fellow founders for the business side of things, at least. “They’re the only ones that can really empathise with you during this time. I’m [also] lucky to have great investors that really believe in PSYKHE, so a talk with them is very motivating.” And when she’s not getting her wisdom from physical interactions, she seeks solace from books or “start-up bibles”, such as Peter Thiel’s Zero to One and Ben Horowitz’s The Hard Things About Hard Things.